Moving with Kids: Age-by-Age Guide & Tips

Moving is stressful for adults, but for kids, it can feel like their entire world is being turned upside down. They're leaving friends, familiar places, and the comfort of routine. At SOS Moving, we've helped thousands of Los Angeles families relocate, and we know that managing children's emotions and expectations is just as important as packing boxes. This comprehensive guide breaks down strategies by age group, helping you transform a potentially traumatic experience into an exciting family adventure.

Understanding the Impact: Why Moving Affects Kids Differently

Before diving into age-specific strategies, it's crucial to understand why moving hits kids so hard.

Loss of Control: Adults choose to move; kids have it imposed on them. This powerlessness can manifest as anger, withdrawal, or regression.

Social Disruption: For kids, friends aren't just on social media—they're at school, next door, and at the local park. Moving means losing their entire social network.

Fear of the Unknown: Adults can research new neighborhoods and schools. Kids only know they're leaving everything familiar behind.

Identity Crisis: Especially for older kids, their identity is tied to their role in their current environment—the soccer star, the class clown, the art kid. Moving means reinventing themselves.

Toddlers (Ages 1-3): Maintaining Routine Amid Chaos

Toddlers won't understand the concept of moving, but they'll definitely feel the disruption.

Two Weeks Before:

Keep routines as normal as possible
Pack their room last so they have familiar surroundings
Read books about moving (even if they don't fully understand)
Let them play with a few empty boxes to familiarize them with packing

Moving Week:

Arrange for them to stay with relatives or friends on moving day
Pack a comfort bag with favorite toys, blanket, and snacks
Maintain meal and nap schedules religiously
Don't wash their favorite stuffed animal or blanket—familiar smells are comforting

After the Move:

Set up their room first, exactly like the old one if possible
Stick to established routines immediately
Explore one new place at a time—too much change is overwhelming
Be patient with regression in potty training or sleep habits

Pro Tip: Create a photo book of the old house to help them process the change when they're older and asking questions.

Preschoolers (Ages 3-5): Making It an Adventure

Preschoolers understand more but have limited emotional regulation skills.

One Month Before:

Use simple, honest language: "We're moving to a new house"
Create a moving calendar with stickers to count down days
Let them pack a special "treasure box" of favorite items
Visit the new home if possible, or show pictures/videos

Involvement Activities:

Let them decorate their moving boxes with stickers and drawings
Have them help pack their stuffed animals
Create a "new house wish list" together
Make a goodbye book with photos of current friends and places

Moving Day Strategy:

Give them a special "moving day helper" badge or t-shirt
Assign age-appropriate tasks like "box inspector"
Keep them away during the heaviest work
Have a special moving day snack bag they packed themselves

Emotional Support:

Acknowledge their feelings: "It's okay to feel sad about leaving"
Share your own emotions appropriately
Focus on exciting aspects: "Your new room has a tree outside the window!"
Maintain bedtime routines, including favorite stories

School-Age Kids (Ages 6-11): Involving Them in the Process

School-age children can be genuine helpers and need to feel involved.

Two Months Before:

Have a family meeting to discuss the move openly
Let them research the new area online (parks, libraries, activities)
Connect with new school for virtual tour or pen pal program
Start a moving journal for their thoughts and feelings

Practical Involvement:

Give them real responsibilities: labeling boxes, packing their books
Let them plan their new room layout
Have them create an inventory of their belongings
Allow them to organize a goodbye party with friends

Addressing Concerns:

Tour the new school before the first day
Research clubs or sports teams they can join
Help them exchange contact information with current friends
Set up video call dates with old friends post-move

Making It Positive:

Create a "new hometown bucket list" together
Let them choose a new room decoration or piece of furniture
Plan a special "first weekend" activity in the new location
Celebrate "lasts" and "firsts"—last dinner at favorite restaurant, first pizza in new town

Tweens (Ages 12-14): Respecting Their Social World

Tweens are at peak social awareness, making moves particularly challenging.

Three Months Before:

Give them as much advance notice as possible
Listen without trying to "fix" their feelings
Help them create a social media plan to stay connected
Involve them in house-hunting (even if just through photos)

Maintaining Connections:

Ensure they have everyone's contact information
Set up social media accounts if age-appropriate
Plan a return visit within the first few months
Help organize virtual hangouts or gaming sessions with old friends

Building Autonomy:

Let them pack and organize their own room
Give them a moving budget for room decorations
Allow them to research and choose one new activity
Let them plan the route if driving to the new home

Emotional Validation:

Don't minimize their feelings with "you'll make new friends"
Share stories of your own difficult transitions
Consider a few counseling sessions if they're really struggling
Create rituals for saying goodbye (friends signing a pillowcase, photo shoots at favorite places)

Teenagers (Ages 15-18): Treating Them as Partners

Teenagers facing a move need respect, understanding, and as much control as possible.

As Early as Possible:

Include them in the decision-making process where feasible
Be transparent about reasons for moving
Acknowledge the significant impact, especially for juniors and seniors
Discuss how move affects college plans, sports scholarships, etc.

Maintaining Their Life:

Explore options like staying with relatives to finish school year
Research if they can continue activities (travel sports team, online classes)
Help them maintain long-distance relationship if they have a significant other
Support their college application process if moving affects it

Practical Independence:

Let them manage their own packing entirely
Give them veto power over some decisions (room choice, first dinner spot)
Allow them to research and present options for new activities
Trust them to plan their goodbye gatherings

Future Focus:

Frame the move as preparation for college independence
Highlight opportunities in the new location (better schools, internships, jobs)
Plan college visits in the new region
Discuss how the move might positively impact their future

Universal Strategies for All Ages

Regardless of age, some approaches work for all kids:

Keep One Parent Present: If possible, one parent should always be available during packing and moving chaos.

Maintain Traditions: Bring familiar traditions to the new home immediately—Friday pizza night, Saturday morning cartoons.

Document Everything: Take photos and videos. Kids will want to remember their old home when they're older.

Be Patient: Adjustment takes time. Expect behavioral changes for at least six months.

Celebrate Milestones: First day at new school, first new friend, first birthday in new house—make them special.

When to Seek Help

Moving is stressful, but watch for signs your child needs professional support:

Regression lasting more than a month
Significant changes in eating or sleeping
Persistent anger or aggression
Complete social withdrawal
Declining academic performance
Expressions of hopelessness

Making Moving Day Easier

SOS Moving has seen what works for families:

The Kid-Free Move: Arrange childcare for moving day when possible. It's safer and less stressful for everyone.

The Special Suitcase: Each child packs a suitcase that travels in the car, not the truck, with comfort items and first-night essentials.

The First Night Plan: Whether it's camping in sleeping bags or a hotel adventure, make the first night special, not stressful.

Conclusion

Moving with kids isn't just about logistics—it's about shepherding young hearts through a major life transition. By acknowledging their feelings, involving them appropriately, and maintaining stability where possible, you can help your children not just survive the move but potentially thrive from the experience. Remember, children are remarkably resilient. With patience, planning, and plenty of love, your family's move can become a story of adventure and growth rather than loss and disruption. And when you're ready for professional help with the physical aspects of your move, SOS Moving is here to handle the heavy lifting so you can focus on what matters most—your family.

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